We all want to look and act cool when we talk to random strangers on the street/at a bar/elsewhere; however, it’s usually quite hard to be confident, especially if you don’t have any social skills. Don’t you worry, though, because, in this post, we’ll give you some down-to-Earth tips in plain and simple English that will, hopefully, be helpful.
Without a doubt, walking up to random folks and starting a conversation with them is a disaster. And when you approach people of the opposite sex, the whole thing turns into a rollercoaster. Here is the good news: if you manage to overcome the fear/awkwardness of the moment, the reward will be huge.
Once you master the skill and talk to random strangers with a smile on your face instead of “horror” written on your forehead, picking up girls and meeting up with guys will turn into a pleasure, not a challenge. Alright, now let us get right to it and see what the psychology experts have to share with us, the regular men and women.
How To Talk To Random Strangers – Upping Your Social Skills
#1 – Practice…And Practice Again!
This applies to pretty much anything that you’re bad at and want to become good at. Social anxiety isn’t to be messed with, and the only way to beat it is to face it multiple times. Yes, confront it and look straight into its eyes. If you keep at it, anxiety will “break” and you’ll achieve your goal. Pretty soon, all those moves and phrases that seemed “alien” to you will become totally natural. But do take it slow and let your body get used to this new reality.
#2 – Leave Your Friends Behind
No, we’re not telling you to abandon every single person you know and love – just don’t go out with them. In order to kick that shy, embarrassed, and confused person that’s living deep inside of you out, you’ll have to do this by yourself. Go to a social event that’s full of strangers and no friends/relatives that have your back. Be confident and try to get a girl/boy interested enough to keep talking to you. Important note: you don’t have to become the life of the party right from the start. As we just said, give it time to sink in.
#3 – Just Go With It!
Sometimes, we start to overthink everything and turn something simple into a gigantic problem. Don’t obsess over all those tiny things that could potentially go wrong and ruin everything: focus on the positive side of things instead.
Just go there, talk to random strangers, and see what happens. Even if you fail, that will be another step towards your own personal greatness. Usually, when you make the first steps, people appreciate that and continue the conversation (especially if they are of the opposite sex).
How To Talk To Random Strangers – Growing As A Person
#4 – Don’t Be Afraid To Fake It
While faking isn’t the way we’re supposed to live our lives, sometimes, it helps to break the ice and gain/regain some confidence. Say, there’s an attractive girl at work but you’re afraid to talk to her. You think that every single person at the office knows that you like her and that you’ll get nervous: well, that’s not true! So, conceal your nervousness and walk up to her like you’re the king of the jungle.
Don’t overdo it, though. This is actually a very helpful technique because when we act confident, our brains perceive those signals very well and do whatever it takes to make us confident without faking it.
#5 – Rejections Happen – It’s OK!
True, no person out there likes to fail, but losing is a huge part of winning. With that said, don’t be sad when the girl/boy you were trying to start a conversation with blew you off. Besides, it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like you: maybe they are just as shy and avoid any conversations?
Anyways, use your failures as a chance to educate yourself and gain experience. We are afraid of what’s going to happen after a rejection, but the worst thing that does happen is when they say “Sorry, I’m busy” or “I just want to be alone.” Nothing scary about that, right?
#6 – Start Simple: Introduce Yourself
There’s no need for deep conversations about the end of the world – just approach the person you like and say something simple, something normal. A regular phrase like “Can I talk to you”? is all you need in these situations. Ask their name next and share your own. If they fail at doing that, it means you should just leave them alone. And while a handshake might seem too official for meeting a boy/girl, that’s usually how most conversations start.
#7 – Don’t Force A Conversation; Let It Slide
Finally, when you talk to random strangers, restrain yourself from trying to “fix” the conversation. Let it just go its own way and follow it. Yes, we do know that it’s easier to talk about stuff that you know and love, but that’s not always natural. Gentle steering is Ok; brutal handling is not. Again, Superman is just a comic hero; if you don’t know something, just admit it! No girl out there will laugh at you because you’re bad at a certain topic. Use this as an opportunity to let her explain it to you – make her talk more and just observe.