As they say, we don’t really know anyone – only the people closest to us. At the same time, the curious human nature is always pushing us to be inquisitive, and thus, we crave to know more about the men/women around us. In this How to get to know someone post, we’ll share some of the best techniques to help you better understand the person that has caught your attention.
Important note: it’s not that hard to connect with random folks on the street, at a bar, or on a train. That’s because we don’t really expect anything from them except for some general conversations. However, that all changes when we go beyond small talk and decide to get under their skin, so to speak.
Obviously, this doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic journey for you: people tend to pursue friendships, partnerships (like a business deal), and many other things. But today, we’ll talk about that classic scenario when boy meets girl. Before we learn how to get to know someone, please make sure not to be too pushy, especially with the opposite sex, because that can drive them away.
8-Step Guide: How To Get To Know Someone – The Basics
#1 – Begin With A Beautiful Smile
If only all the football matches, boxing fights, and wars started with a smile! No, seriously: always remember to smile at the men/women that you want to impress or learn about. A sincere smile is arguably your greatest weapon. It creates a pressure-free, relaxed atmosphere, perfect for getting to know each other. Set the right tone and start slow: let them be the ones to open up. They might need some time for that, but it’s totally Ok.
#2 – Small Talk Makes The World Better
Again, small talk doesn’t require any professional skills and will serve as a mood-setter, just like that gracious smile. Scratching the surface and “aligning” to each other is a very important step. The weather, the current geopolitical standings, the modern-day food – the topic doesn’t really matter. The goal here is to make the other person in the conversation feel comfortable and relaxed.
#3 – Master The Art Of Conversation Starters
If you’re wondering how to get to know someone, and can’t really find the answer, know that conversation starters are the key. On a date, something cute like kittens and doggies might be just right. On a business deal, however, that won’t really be appropriate. Try to make your questions a bit more personal, but don’t rush it. What does he/she listen to, what are their movie preferences, what did they do over the weekend?
#4 – Move To “Getting To Know You” Questions
Now that you know their basic interests/thoughts/opinions, it’s time to “attack” them with personal questions. Keep it fun and cool, though. Try not to be too weird about it while asking a girl some casual and funny questions. Who is your favorite singer/artists? What’s your biggest talent? What is your favorite food? While these might seem a bit silly from afar, when you’re into that conversation, it feels quite natural.
8-Step Guide: How To Get To Know Someone – Getting Right To It
#5 – Share Some Stuff About Yourself
This is one of the most important steps in our How to get to know someone guide. While it’s always great to listen to someone, at a certain point, you’ll have to start sharing. Some people like to ask questions just as much as answer them. Others prefer to sit there and have you as the leader in the conversation. Either way, sharing is caring. Use this opportunity to talk about some personal stuff and watch their reaction.
#6 – Find Common Group
Mutual interests will bring you closer to each other, especially now that you made it through small talk and some light personal questions. Hopefully, at this point, you’ve discovered that the two of you love the same music band, or movie director, or video game character – anything will do. This can be a huge topic and, again, you’ll both get to learn more about each other.
#7 – Open Up For Real
Arguably, the best answer to the question – how to get to know someone – is to start by telling him/her about yourself. Yes, it’s time to connect, and the best way to do that is by opening up. Numerous studies prove that showing slight signs of vulnerability can have a great effect both on men and women. Just don’t overdo it.
Speak about some family struggles, personal ups, and downs – stuff like that. As we mentioned earlier, don’t be too quick to judge if your date is less open about personal things. Give them some time.
#8 – Invite Them To A Private Meeting
No, we’re not talking about the gathering of the international spies or anything like that. It’s just that usually, we meet other people in public places, but now that you know so much about each other, it would be best to invite your new friend to a more intimate one-on-one hanging out session.
No need to come up with something extraordinary – walking in the park will suffice. If you share a passion for bicycles, old French movies, or working out, go ahead and invite them to do those things together.