Even though it sounds strange, there are many people out there that feel lonely while surrounded by tons of friends, colleagues, loved ones. Today, we’ll try to answer a very important question – why do I feel so alone? We, the humans, crave compassion, friendship, and someone to talk to. That’s basically it.
And, again, while we’re usually meeting dozens of men and women throughout the day, none of them give us what we want. That’s partially the fault of modern-day social media that makes us build walls and hide inside of our shelters, away from the outside world. The thing is – we often misunderstand the very concept of loneliness: it has nothing to do with your physical state but rather your emotional state.
No matter how many people attend your party, if you feel lonely and empty inside, then that’s who you eventually are – a lonely person. Childhood trauma is another big reason for feeling totally alone. Let us go ahead and try to learn about the most common reasons for loneliness.
Why Do I Feel So Alone – Understanding The Problem
#1 – You’re Craving A Real Connection
As mentioned in the beginning, people don’t tend to connect with every single person they meet. In fact, you can work/live with a man or a woman for years and still fail at building a strong connection. For that, you’ll need a soul mate, someone that finishes your sentences and knows exactly how you feel.
Sadly, most of us lack the ability to connect in an instant, which is why it requires a lot of hard work. Basically, if you feel open, safe, and loved around someone, then there’s probably a connection between the two of you.
#2 – It’s Challenging For You To Be Yourself
Don’t be afraid to be your own self – that’s what the books and the teachers tell us at school. Well, it’s still quite hard for us to do that. However, unless you accept who you are and be that person around others, you’ll never be able to connect.
In some cases, the high expectations of the family/friends prevent us from being who we are truly supposed to be. So, don’t let others decide who you are – take matters into your own hands! How can others connect to you if there is no “you” in the first place?
#3 – You Find It Hard To Trust Others
Why do I feel alone, you might ask? Because you don’t let others in, and, thus, can’t ever relax and have a good time. Stop building walls, barriers, and unbreakable fortifications between you and the people around you. Open yourself up and fight the fear of being misunderstood, scolded, and even laughed at. After all, nobody’s perfect, and when you do actually meet someone that deserves your trust, it will become obvious that it was worth it.
Why Do I Feel So Alone – Digging Deeper
#4 – The Very Definition Of Friendship Is A Mystery To You
That might sound a bit harsh, but it’s often true. At a younger age (say, at school), we tend to make friends with boys/girls on the same team/with the same interests. However, at a more mature age, we need to be friends with people that share personal values with us (as opposed to hanging out with folks that play the same games and watch the same movies).
Yes, it’s all about core values when it comes to a friendship between adults. That’s partially why social media can’t really help us “beat” loneliness. People keep asking themselves – why do I feel so alone and no person online gives them the right answer.
#5 – You’re Not Used To Relying On Others
There’s nothing wrong with being a strong, independent person. At the same time, the inability to receive help/advice from others can lead to some unwanted consequences (like loneliness, for example). This, again, has to do with a total lack of trust in people. Lonely individuals don’t really like to talk about themselves and constantly change the topic. Plus, they are ready to do whatever it takes to hide their own feelings and emotions.
#6 – Intimacy Scares You
True, we all get scared of being alone with a boy/girl at least once in our lives. Lonely people, in turn, are ALWAYS afraid that something will go wrong. Keeping others from getting too close to hurt you – that’s an all-time classic. As we said earlier, you need to open yourself up and let others in. But there’s a difference between opening up and getting intimate with someone. It’s incredibly hard not to feel lonely when you can’t connect with a person sexually.
#7 – You’re Dealing With Depression
Even the strongest and most confident folks out there will feel down when depression comes knocking on their door. Instead of constantly asking yourself – why do I feel alone – let the doctors help you out. The thing is – if you think that you are not worth a good-looking man’s/woman’s attention, there’s no way you’ll ever connect with one. Remember: there are no perfect human beings on planet Earth; our tiny flaws make us unique!