Without a doubt, the best way to start to breathe again is to learn to accept and love your own self. True, it’s easier said than done, but with the help of our how to fix codependent behavior step-by-step guide, you will have a good enough chance to do that.
The hardest part about it – you’re already used to loving and fully dedicating yourself to that other person and it will feel almost unnatural to focus all that love on you. Love is all about actions – so, start acting instead of thinking. Try to do everything that you’ve been doing for your loved one but focus all of that attention on yourself.
This how to fix codependent behavior “manual” will only work if you really want to change. For most codependent people, it is very hard to recognize the difference between pure love and unhealthy dependence. They keep telling themselves that the needs of their partners come first, and thus, lose their own identities. The following list will help you let go of all those wrong thoughts.
How To Fix Codependent Behavior – The Basics
#1 – Start With A Spiritual Practice
We know, it might sound a bit strange, but even people with little or no faith in God will be able to receive his blessings through spiritual journeys. Find some time during the day when you can be totally alone and undisturbed. No religious books, candles, or necklaces will be necessary: just a strong will to find inner peace and a center of harmony. Confidence – that’s what you should be looking for.
#2 – Don’t Shy Away From Help
There might be some people in your life that will be ready to lend a helping hand and maybe even share some personal experiences. Reaching out is a great way to be humble and let others carry a tiny bit of your load. A person that asks for help is equally strong and courageous. Sometimes, your friends and loved ones can turn the tide in this battle. However, this is your fight, and only your mind and soul will be able to fix all that damage that has been done.
#3 – Focus On Your Own Needs
This is one of the most important steps in our how to fix codependent behavior guide. Stop carrying about others; think about ways to make yourself feel loved and appreciated. Begin by eating healthy, sleeping for 7-8 hours, and taking care of your basic needs. Depression usually comes from negligence and a long lack of happiness, or, at least, joy. Find ways to bring a smile to your own face.
#4 – Have Pure, Unconditional Fun
When was the last time you were having fun? Go back to the way you were before being codependent and remember all those things that made you laugh. You can’t let self-pity define who you are. The best way to fix this is to stop living a life of constant struggles and have a little bit of good old fun. Play games, walk around in the park, go to the movies – those simple yet effective and fun activities will do the trick for ya.
How To Fix Codependent Behavior – Go Back To Your Own Self
#5 – Find Ways To Protect Yourself
Again, you’ve been spending all your time worrying about the other person in the relationship. Stop that! Furthermore, all that mental/emotional abuse can’t go on for any longer. Don’t let your partner destroy you with insulting words and actions. Speak up, try to set up some ground rules and don’t be afraid to say no. Violence can’t be a part of your life, even if you love that person more than yourself.
#6 – Learn How To Love Yourself
What can be easier than loving who you are? Well, for a codependent person, that’s a hard task. Acknowledge the fact that you are a beautiful, unique person, put on this Earth to be happy. Forget about earning a right to be here – you already have it! Despite all those flaws, you still deserve to be treated with respect and to be loved. Self-acceptance is a vital part of healing yourself from this disease.
#7 – Don’t Rush Into Accepting Yourself
Some people are eager to get back on track and are ready to do whatever it takes to fix everything. But you shouldn’t rush it. Start slow and learn how to cherish your mind and soul. Remember: there’s nothing wrong with you, even if there are constant failures in your life at this moment. Stop trying to escape from it all – learn how to change your attitude towards the failures.
#8 – Be Enthusiastic About These Changes
The most accurate answer to this question – how to fix codependent behavior in yourself – is start encouraging yourself. That brooding critic inside of you is a bad influence. Think of all those things that you do well and focus on them. While we, the humans, really like when others praise and appreciate us, sometimes, it’s important to do that ourselves.
#9 – Don’t Be Afraid To Express Yourself
Even if you’re not a codependent person, finding the necessary strength to express yourself can be hard. This step has to do with a lot of risk, but it’s totally worth it. Stop hiding – start sharing and expressing your feelings, thoughts, and everything else in between. You don’t need to be sorry for your hopes and dreams!
#10 – Go Back To Being A Passionate Person
Fact: you are the only person that holds the keys to the heavenly gates of happiness. And the best way to open those magical gates is to pursue your passion and never stop believing that tomorrow will be better than yesterday.